Blog
A Way Back To My Heart
Yesterday was the first time I really understood swimming. I’ve loved to swim ever since I was a little girl, and I’ve always known the power of water, but as I got older, swimming started to mean laps: going from one side of the pool to the next, counting my achievements in numbers.
Living All Our Faces
When I first came to the U.S., I learned that being “two-faced” meant being a liar. That never made sense to me. We all have many faces. Wouldn’t showing them be more honest? Isn’t it more honest to admit that, laughing with a friend after your grandmother’s funeral, you felt both grief AND joy? Isn’t it more honest to admit that, in the face of world events, you’re in touch with both intense anger AND profound hope? And all that there is in between?
Sex-Positivity For Trauma Survivors
Trauma survivors can embrace sex-positivity as much as anyone else. Sex-positivity doesn’t mean you’re up for any kind of sex, any time. Sex positivity is simply the belief that sex is a healthy and natural part of life and that people should be free to explore their sexuality without shame or judgment. It’s a journey, not a destination, and it takes time and patience. Accepting and talking about your blocks around sex — and doing the same for others — is just as much a part of sex-positivity as acting out wild fantasies.
Gaslighting Ourselves
People talk a lot about gaslighting, i.e., manipulating others by questioning their sanity. It’s a terrible tactic that many people use to get what they want. But just as important are the ways we gaslight ourselves.
Letter to My Solitude
Dear Solitude, I used to be so terrified of you. If I wasn’t constantly busy or taking care of someone else, you’d come around to remind me where I come from. If I slowed down at all, you’d show me how lonely I was. I couldn’t understand or feel the joy of being with you.
